spirituality

Sometimes people are turned off by recovery in the Twelve Step Programs such as Al-Anon because of issues they may have with organized religion. The strength of 12 Step Programs is that they urge each individual to develop his/her own understanding of a source of spiritual strength. Perhaps the best place to start, I think, is with the willingness to be open to the support of others in recovery in Al-Anon who have learned how to maintain emotional balance even though affected by a relationship with an alcoholic. The strength of the group can be the foundation of spiritual growth.

Courage to change the things I can

The Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. How does an individual in recovery find the courage mentioned in this prayer? As with most aspects of recovery, developing the "courage to change the things I can" is an ongoing process. The progress that you can achieve will most often come from improving and strengthening your relationship with your source of spiritual strength, your Higher Power. Ways to improve and strengthen that relationship include use of daily spiritual disciplines (morning and nightly prayer, spiritual readings and reflections), helping others, and asking for help from others, in recovery, attending 12 Step meetings and listening and sharing. Fear is normally a huge issue in early recovery. Ask in morning prayers and throughout the day for the strength to take risks and do what you are supposed to do. Over time, you will reach the point where fear, though present (fear seems to be part of being human), rarely will prevent you from doing "the next right thing."

Is there a cure for addiction?

Most persons knowledgeable about addictions would simply answer: "no." Addiction to alcohol or other drugs is not cured by time abstinent from use of the addictive substance. There is no therapy that can teach an addict or alcoholic to use without problems over any significant period of time. Because of changes in brain chemistry and other pschological habituation factors, few, if any, individuals once addicted can return to normal, non-harmful use. The answer to addiction is abstinence from the addictive substance. Long term abstinence usually can be maintained only through comprehensive treatment that addresses the physical-medical, emotional-mental, and spiritual issues that are particular to each individual.

Expectations

A wonderful guide to focusing on what you can change, namely, yourself, is this quote from Fritz Perls, the father of Gestalt Therapy:

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
and you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.


If not, it can’t be helped.

Accentuate the Positive

In recovery from the effects of a relationship with an addict or alcoholic, it is vital to learn to focus on the positives in one's life; they are almost always there. The lyrics to an old Johnny Mercer song. "You've got to accentuate the positive; Eliminate the negative; Latch on to the affirmative; Don't mess with Mister In-Between...", could be the theme song for recovery in Al-Anon or Nar-Anon (the Twelve Step Programs for those hurt by a relationship with an addict or alcoholic).

Recovery

One of the longest trips a person in recovery in Al-Anon or Nar-Anon (the Twelve Step programs for those hurt by addiction), must take is from the mind to the heart. In other words we must move, in recovery, from an intellectual grasp of recovery principles such as being powerless over the addicted person, to knowing the principles in our hearts or guts, thereby being able to live them in our daily lives.

Accentuate the Positive

The lyrics to an old Johnny Mercer song. "You've got to accentuate the positive; Eliminate the negative; Latch on to the affirmative; Don't mess with Mister In-Between...", could be the theme song for recovery in Al-Anon or Nar-Anon (the Twelve Step Programs for those hurt by a relationship with an addict or alcoholic).

Spirituality

Step 12 of the Twelve Steps of Recovery in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon (the programs for those hurt by the effects of a relationship with an addict or alcoholic) promises a "spiritual awakening" as the result of working the preceding eleven Steps, including developing a relationship with a spiritual source of strength, attendance of meetings, listening and sharing with others in recovery. What does it mean to have a spiritual awakening? I don't have the time for a full explanation, but will say this: you will be able to maintain emotional balance and a reasonable degree of serenity regardless of the negative (and positive) realities and pain that may be going on in your life.

A New Year's Resolution

A New Year's Resolution
Why not think about adopting the following resolution if it fits for you? I will try to be honest about how the drug or alcohol use of someone I care about is causing problems in important areas, such as relationships, employment, health, legally, and if the person's use is causing such problems, I will explore how to get some help. Check out this site for help: http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com/FamilyAddictionsCounselingonline.html