Spirituality

Step 12 of the Twelve Steps of Recovery in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon (the programs for those hurt by the effects of a relationship with an addict or alcoholic) promises a "spiritual awakening" as the result of working the preceding eleven Steps, including developing a relationship with a spiritual source of strength, attendance of meetings, listening and sharing with others in recovery. What does it mean to have a spiritual awakening? I don't have the time for a full explanation, but will say this: you will be able to maintain emotional balance and a reasonable degree of serenity regardless of the negative (and positive) realities and pain that may be going on in your life.

Spirituality

Recovery in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon (the programs for those hurt by the effects of a relationship with an addict or alcoholic), from the effects of living with addiction is painful, stressful, and difficult. Most people find that developing, or strengthening, a relationship with a source of spiritual strength, God, a Higher Power, as you understand that to be, provides the needed strength to do what's needed to be done to recover. I have found that putting in place daily spiritual disciplines is very helpful in building a strong spiritual recovery program. For example, I set aside time in the morning and evening for prayer and reflection, using some of the daily meditation books available at Twelve Step meetings (such as "One Day at a Time in Al-Anon"), asking in the AM my Higher Power (HP) for the strength to do what needs to be done that day, and in the PM, reviewing the day and giving thanks for the good and seeking help with the times I have not been able to act as I know my HP wants me to act (for example, giving into fear or anger). There is no right way to do this; the point is that daily spiritual disciplines will pay off with spiritual strength. Try it.

Turn It Over

What does it mean when a person in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon (the 12 Step groups for persons in relationship with an alcoholic or addict) advises you to "turn it over", "it" being whatever crisis or problem that you are worrying about? The reference is, of course, to Step Three of the Twelve Steps of Recovery: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." The advice is meant to help you to recognize what you CAN change, namely, you and how you think and react, and what you CAN'T change, namely, other people and many events. A shorthand for this principle is to say: "God (or other Higher Power), I can't handle it; you can; I think I'll let you."

Humor and Spiritual Strength

Some good advice I heard way back is this: "Take your recovery seriously, but not yourself." It is a habit that we often get into, before finding a spiritual way out of the effects of a relationship with an addict or alcoholic, to have an overly grim, deadly serious way of thinking about life, with little room for humor or levity of any kind. I could not understand in my early recovery at meetings of Twelve Step Groups how people could laugh so much; maybe, I thought, their problems with addiction were not as bad as mine. I soon found out that what was different was not the circumstances (which were as bad, or worse, as mine), but how these recovering persons looked at, and thought about, their situations. What was also different was that these hope-filled, people had come to believe in the strength of a Higher Power to aid them in detaching from their problems. To arrive at this spiritual place where you can laugh and take care of yourself in the midst of traumatic events requires attendance of many Twelve Step meetings (Al-Anon and Nar-Anon, the 12 Step groups for persons in relationship with an alcoholic or addict), hard work applying spiritual principles, and a lot of listening and sharing at meetings.

Spirituality

Persons new to recovery in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon (the 12 Step groups for persons in relationship with an alcoholic or addict), are often confused by the spiritual aspects of the Twelve Step Programs. The most important thing to remember is that there is no pressure to adopt any particular approach to a Higher Power; that is why I speak about just trying to be open to the idea of developing a relationship with a source of spiritual strength that works for you. Some just start with the strength clearly present in their Al-Anon or Nar-Anon group, and go from there.